


to be known

by thespacenico



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Galaxy Garrison, Garrison days, Gay Adam (Voltron), Gay Shiro (Voltron), Getting Together, M/M, Mention of Shiro's Disease, Pre-Kerberos Mission, Stargazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:28:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28040148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thespacenico/pseuds/thespacenico
Summary: “Have you ever been in love?” Adam murmurs.They’re older now. Somehow, as fate would have it, he and Shiro have landed themselves as flight partners, which simply gives them another excuse to spend all of their time together as if they didn’t do so already. They lie side-by-side on the very same roof where they first became friends, gazing up at the stars.Their hands are achingly close, but they do not hold. Adam resists the urge to reach out, take hold and never let go.
Relationships: Adam/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 101





	to be known

**Author's Note:**

> my piece for [the only one worth seeing](https://twitter.com/TOOWSzine) adashi zine! they'll be reopening the shop to sell extra merch soon, so keep an eye out :)

Progress isn’t linear. 

Adam doesn’t remember where he picked up that phrase, probably somewhere in between the dozens of books stacked neatly atop his desk back home, pages worn and gently frayed at the edges from years of love and care. For whatever reason it stuck with him, partly because it seemed almost counterintuitive and partly because it ends up applying to virtually everything in his life. Including, but not limited to, his relationship with Takashi Shirogane. 

It goes a little like this. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” 

Shiro comes to a halt so abrupt that he nearly falls face first onto the ground. He whips around as Adam rather dramatically emerges from the shadows where he’d been waiting, arms folded across his chest and one eyebrow raised. Anyone who didn’t already attend the Garrison would probably think he’s a professor. In any case, Shiro’s guilty expression instantly morphs into one of confusion when he sees him. “Adam?” 

“I knew you were too good to be true,” Adam scoffs, ignoring the part of himself that revels in the fact that Shiro even recognizes him, let alone knows his name. “You’re  _ so _ not the goody two-shoes everyone thinks you are.” 

Shiro blinks, his dark eyes comically wide, and then his shoulders slump. “People think I’m a goody two-shoes?” 

It’s infuriating how genuinely and adorably upset he is over this information. The scowl on Adam’s face overcompensates for how utterly endeared he is. “Not for long, from the looks of it.” 

Some of the bravado he’d been feeling upon finally catching Shiro in the act dissipates as the boy in question draws back up to his full height and tilts his head, looking Adam up and down. “Right, because you’ve already filled that role.”

Adam sputters, cheeks flaming as Shiro tosses his head back and laughs, the sound of it echoing brightly across the dim hallway. “Wh—I—that’s not true!” 

“I guess not, since we’re both clearly breaking the rules right now. What are you even doing out here?” 

Following Shiro is what he was doing, but Adam isn’t about to admit that. “I asked first.” 

“Sneaking up to the roof,” Shiro answers, so nonchalantly that Adam almost doesn’t believe him. “Wanna come with?” 

Adam’s eyebrows shoot up and he snorts, incredulous. “Are you serious?” 

Shiro shrugs. “Why? Are you scared?” 

Adam narrows his eyes. It’s total bait, he knows, but he takes it anyway. “I’m not scared.” 

“Yeah?” Shiro’s eyes glint dangerously, mouth curling up into a mischievous smile. “Prove it.” 

The challenge in his tone is unmistakable. If Adam were smart (and he  _ is _ ), he would turn around and run far, far away. He has absolutely nothing to prove. And yet, he’s already made up his mind. 

“Fine,” he grunts, unable to deny the way that his heart skips a beat at the sight of Shiro’s entire face lighting up. “But this better not come back to bite me in the ass, Takashi.” 

“My friends call me Shiro.” 

“Good to know,” Adam answers flatly, and then repeats, with just a bit more emphasis than necessary:  _ “Takashi.” _

Shiro smiles a wide, crooked smile, and that’s how Adam knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that he was doomed from the start. 

Adam recognizes that he’s had a sort of fascination with Shiro since they both started attending the Garrison. Shiro was flying up the ranks and breaking records in virtually no time at all, from the first day they were permitted to set foot in the flight simulations. He instantly became every instructor’s favorite student, the poster boy for the Galaxy Garrison and the future of space exploration. All the other cadets were constantly vying for his attention, and either he was too nice to ignore them or he secretly loved the spotlight. By the time they were heading into their second year, everyone knew who Takashi Shirogane was.

And yet no one really _knew_ him. Other than his nearly perfect marks, his unquestionable talent, and his admittedly charming and charismatic demeanor, no one knew anything about him. Adam wanted to—he still does. Either way, Shiro doesn’t exactly give him a choice, because after that night, everything changes. Suddenly the boy that seemed so far away and untouchable was constantly within Adam’s reach, because Shiro literally followed him _everywhere._

At first the attention was kind of overwhelming, in the sense that the tables were turned so abruptly. The two of them went from having virtually zero interaction at all to Shiro calling out greetings to Adam across the hall between classes, appearing quite literally out of nowhere at Adam’s side during flight simulations, even consistently sitting with Adam at lunch without any prompting whatsoever. Usually Adam was the one always searching for and picking Shiro out of the crowd (he’d gotten  _ very  _ good at it), but now there was no reason to, because Shiro always found him first.

Suddenly Adam finds that he knows more about Shiro than he ever expected to, and that initial fascination never once started to wane—only grow. Until at some point, it’s grown and bloomed into something else entirely.

“Have you ever been in love?” Adam murmurs. 

They’re older now. Somehow, as fate would have it, he and Shiro have landed themselves as flight partners, which simply gives them another excuse to spend all of their time together as if they didn’t do so already. They lie side-by-side on the very same roof where they first became friends, gazing up at the stars. 

Their hands are achingly close, but they do not hold. Adam resists the urge to reach out, take hold and never let go.

Shiro takes a moment to answer. Adam jumps at the opportunity to study his profile, pulse racing with the possibility of being caught yet not seeming to care. “I think so,” he answers quietly, and Adam holds his breath as he waits for the rest. “But… I try not to get too attached, most of the time.” 

Adam’s heart clenches in his chest. He still vividly remembers the night that Shiro had truly opened up, finally let Adam see the hidden parts of himself that Adam desperately wanted to know. It was a night just like this, the two of them lying on the roof so they could look at the stars but mostly so they could keep each other company. Shiro had told him everything: how he’s sick, that no one can see it but his body is already degenerating, that a decade or so from now he’ll probably be too weak even to stand on his own. That he keeps it a secret from who he can because he’s afraid of people giving up on him, but that he wouldn’t blame them. How he’s practically already living in his prime and that he has to take advantage of it now or risk losing everything before he even has the chance to claim anything for himself—that he’s worked just as hard as everyone else if not harder to get where he is now, because he only has a limited amount of time and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t make the most of it.

And—how he learned to keep his distance, because he feels like letting someone get too close would be selfish, knowing that he would get to have them for his entire lifetime only to end up leaving them behind.

Adam bites his lip, every muscle in his body tensing with the strength it takes not to reach toward him. “That’s not fair,” he whispers. It’s his own selfish wants and desires hiding behind those words, but even so he knows they’re true. “You deserve to be happy too, Takashi.”

Shiro exhales a short breath. His fingers twitch where they rest beside Adam’s, and then he pulls them away. “Not if it’s at someone else’s expense.”

“What do you mean?” 

“Just—it wouldn’t be worth it. For the other person, I mean.” 

Adam frowns, propping himself up on his elbows to look down at Shiro. “What are you talking about?” 

Shiro won’t meet his gaze. “Nothing,” he mumbles. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter.” 

“Yes, it does,” Adam snaps, with much more bite than he intended, but he can’t help it. It’s enough to get Shiro’s attention anyway, head turning and eyes widening slightly as he blinks up at Adam in surprise. “What, you think just because you’re sick, that somehow makes you less important than everyone else? That you don’t deserve just as much happiness?”

“That’s not what I—” 

“‘It wouldn’t be worth it for the other person,’” Adam quotes flatly, and Shiro grimaces. “Takashi, how can you even say that?” 

Shiro’s mouth tightens into a thin line and he sits up, folding his arms in his lap. “I’m just being realistic.” 

“You’re being ridiculous.” 

“No I’m not! It’s just easier this way, alright?” 

“Since when have you cared about easy?” Adam retorts, sitting up fully to level with Shiro. “It seems to me that you’re just scared.” 

Shiro scoffs, rolling his eyes. “I’m not scared, Adam—”

“Prove it.” 

The words come out of Adam’s mouth before he can stop them. They hang in the air for far too long, ringing loudly through the suffocating silence that follows. Shiro freezes, his entire body going still, and Adam wants to tell himself that he doesn’t regret what he’s said but Shiro still won’t look at him and he hates it, he wants Shiro to look at him but maybe he’s gone too far this time. Maybe he stepped too far over the invisible line that they’ve seemed to so carefully place between them. The fact that Shiro doesn’t really answer is an answer in itself.

“It’s late,” he says at length, and Adam doesn’t miss the tightness of his voice. His heart sinks in his chest as Shiro stands, eyes lowered to the ground and expression unreadable. “I’m gonna head in for the night. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Adam has no choice but to watch him go, forcing himself to swallow down all the words that get stuck in his throat. Things like  _ wait,  _ and  _ stay,  _ and  _ please, it would be worth it to me, Takashi.  _ He’s not sure they would do any good, and Shiro’s mind already seems to be made up.

So made up in fact, that the next day, Shiro ignores Adam entirely. And the next day. And the next. It’s like they’ve gone right back to the beginning, like they were never even friends, like the past year and a half meant nothing to him at all. And Adam is  _ furious.  _

Because he  _ knows _ Shiro, he knows what Shiro is doing, and he’s not about to sit back and let Shiro sabotage something they both know would make him happy.

Which is why, at the end of the week while all the cadets in their class are heading to the secondary hangar for flight simulations, Adam yanks a startled Shiro into an empty classroom and all but slams the door behind them, crowding Shiro against the wall. 

“A-Adam—” Shiro starts, eyes wide and panicked, but Adam cuts him off. 

“Don’t,” he says, gripping Shiro’s shoulder tightly. “Don’t you dare. Just let me say this first.” Shiro’s mouth snaps shut with an audible click and Adam twists his fingers in the fabric of Shiro’s uniform, heart racing at their proximity but refusing to let it distract him. “I know what you’re doing and I want you to  _ stop it,  _ right now. I know you think that your stupid self-sacrificial self is somehow protecting me by pushing me away, because you think that by hurting us now it’ll save us both from a lot more hurt later, but  _ I don’t care,  _ Takashi. I don’t care that you’re sick. I don’t care that you may or may not live past thirty, and I don’t care that you’ve given up on yourself because  _ I  _ haven’t given up on you, and I’m not about to start now.” He puffs out a breath before he continues, voice trembling at the sight of the tears now brimming in Shiro’s eyes. “I like you and I know you like me too, but I know it’s not that simple, so I only want this if you want it too, and  _ god.  _ I want this so bad.” 

Shiro swallows, and as he blinks a single tear escapes and slides down his cheek. “Me too,” he whispers. 

“Good,” Adam breathes, and uses his grip on Shiro’s shoulder to pull him in and finally,  _ finally  _ close that last inch of physical and metaphorical space between them. 

They’re late for their flight simulations. Adam simply adds it to the list of things he doesn’t care about. 

And that, he thinks, is progress. 

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on [tumblr](https://www.thespacenico.tumblr.com)!  
> [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/thespacenico/)!  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/thespacenico)!  
> 


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